TemplarLord's Mass Effect Short Story v1.2 [REVAMPED]

TemplarLord: So, you played Mass Effect yet?
SomeNoob: No, I haven't.
TemplarLord: You haven't played Mass Effect yet? You son of a...
*Readies his HMSWR X*
(SomeNoob gulps)
NeutralPeople: Yo, dawg, chill! Chill!!
TemplarLord: Lemme have him! I'll vaporize the bitch!! I'll go all Saren-style on his ass!!!
(SomeNoob runs away)
TemplarLord: You can run... But my Battle Optics X will pick you up... Muahahahaha!
SomeNoob: (Yells from a distance) Hihi, no it won't, I got the Geth Jammer, u'll never find me!
TemplarLord: Gawd damn... Shit! Get to da Mako! AfSAP!
NeutralPeople: Hell no, u ain't paying us nearly enough money for this shit!
TemplarLord: Aight, aight, we're off to da Den once we're @ the Citadel? Cool?
NeutralPeople: U better keep your gawd damn word this time...
[NeutralPeople are now known as TemplarLord's Crew]
TemplarLord: To da Mako!!
(After 2 hours of hopeless searching)
TL's Crew Member no.01: 'Tis futile u infidel! We're never gonna find his sorry ass!
TemplarLord: Whaddya say?!
*TemplarLord gets his HMWP X"
TemplarLord's Crew: Not again...!
*TemplarLord fires a few mislead shots into TL's crew member*
TemplarLord: Aww, it's hopeless... Let's go back to da Citadel.
(TemplarLord's crew cheers)
TemplarLord: (quietly) Celebrate now; while u still can...
TL's Crew Member no.03: What was that, sir?
TemplarLord: Nothing, nothing, move along.
TL's Crew Member no.03: (quietly) Crazy maniac...
TL's Crew Member no.02: Tell me about it...
*TemplarLord fires a shot near TL's Crew Member no.03*
TemplarLord: I thought I said MOVE ALONG!